Neutral

Everything is neutral until we label it as good or bad. We give meaning to things, circumstances, behaviors, decisions, and outcomes. Without our giving it meaning, it just is what it is.

A rainy day - it’s just water falling from the sky until I decide that it is inconvenient to get wet today or that it is good for the grass. Rain is neutral until I label it good or bad. It is going to rain, no matter what I think about it.

Broccoli is just broccoli, but some of us think it is bad and some think it is good. Broccoli will continue to exist, no matter our preferences.

It is mind-blowing to realize everything is neutral until we have an opinion about it.

Think about something you think is bad. See if you can see it as neutral. It just is what it is until you give it your assessment, opinion, or editorial. Now bring to your mind something you think is good. Again, it just is what it is until you label it good. Can you see something as neutral and resist the urge to assess it?

Our brain likes labeling things to keep us safe.

Our inner protector’s job (our amygdala deep in our brain) is to keep us safe and alive and it likes rules: blueberries are good, red berries are bad. That labeling will keep me safe if I am lost in the woods, but it doesn’t leave room for nuance. Yes, red berries in the woods might be dangerous, but raspberries are red and they are safe and delicious so are strawberries. We have to stretch our brains away from their tendencies to label things. Labeling everything as good or bad, right or wrong, limits our human experience.

There is a big fun world out there to explore and be curious about if you can see things again as neutral.

And, this perspective can help us in the areas we tend to judge ourselves. A messy kitchen is neutral until I editorialize that I shouldn’t go to bed with a messy kitchen. A messy kitchen just is what it is - neither good nor bad. Some of you are reading this and your brain is thinking, going to bed with a messy kitchen is awful. Some of you are saying, leave it until morning and go to bed, no big deal. Work with your own brain to see if you can stretch it out a bit to see the messy kitchen as neutral - then decide your next steps.

I think it is fun to experiment with this and it always blows my mind when I realize how much I’m labeling everything around me.

That thing you think is ugly - that thing you think is beautiful - the thing you can’t believe people would do - the clothes kids are wearing today - the trashy tv show - that pet peeve you have - the wrinkles - the cellulite - the way they spend their time - - all of it is neutral, absolutely neutral.

See if you can get to neutral with other religions, ethnicities, body sizes, economic levels, professions, sexuality, levels of education, decisions people make, etc.

William Shakespeare is known for saying, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” I’m always amazed at the timelessness of Shakespeare’s commentary on human behaviors - he was teaching us about the power of our thoughts 400 years ago. (He lived from 1564-1616)

Everything is neutral. Take a deep breath and let that sink in this week.

So much love coming your way,