Proud of Yourself
/Becoming a person you are proud of is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself.
Feeling proud of your actions, words, thoughts, and behaviors can be an antidote to shame, inner criticism, anxious thinking, and depressive moods. Doing something that makes you proud of yourself doesn’t have to be grand or publicly impressive. It could be as simple as keeping a daily promise to yourself, honoring yourself when no one else will, sharing what is on your mind, taking a baby step toward a dream you’ve been afraid to step into, or something you do when no one is watching.
Often we chase external validation and forget the importance of growing our own self respect.
Studies on motivation have found that doing one simple act you are proud of leads to exponentially doing more acts you are proud of. It might be just making your bed, but a task that gives you a boost of accomplishment can improve your levels of motivation, confidence, resilience, and self-image. And even beyond making your bed, giving money, labor, resources, and time to help others almost always helps us feel proud of ourselves. It isn’t about getting recognized for doing something good, but instead an inner feeling of looking in the mirror and knowing how you’ve helped someone.
What makes you feel proud of yourself?
Do more of that and you will begin to feel better about everything else too. The endorphins released from doing something that makes you proud of yourself boost your mood and thus lends to improving your general wellbeing. And it does others a favor too - when you feel better about yourself, you actually are easier to be around.
You might be thinking this will lead to arrogance, but the key to truly feeling proud of yourself and not arrogant is to keep the proud moment to yourself. Know that you did something great without telling anyone you did something great. Challenge yourself to stick with internal validation and resist the need for external validation, that is where the secret to happiness truly lies.
When you are proud of yourself and no one else needs to know about it, you have tapped into true internal validation.
What can you do this week to feel proud of yourself?
do something kind for a friend or family member
stick to healthy behaviors with nutrition and exercise
push yourself a little further when you want to quit
help someone at work without seeking recognition
walk away when you want to fight
resist the temptation to drink, smoke, or use a substance
do a secret random act of kindness for a stranger
step up and do things for yourself
organize a drawer, closet, cabinet, or space
do something you’ve been avoiding
say the loving thing you think might be awkward to say
speak up to someone who keeps hurting you
apply for that job, role, position you doubt you’ll get
create art, writing, or something you love
be consistent with a spiritual practice
try something new
These are all examples of believing in yourself and trusting yourself enough to do something that will make you proud of yourself. Then afterward, pause and reflect on that moment. Say, “I’m really proud of you for doing that” to yourself. If you can’t imagine talking to yourself gently, say it as you would say it to a child.
When you feel quietly proud of yourself, you are more likely to take action to help someone else.
In compassion research, what often holds us back from compassionate action is a lack of confidence in believing that our help will make a difference. The more you practice being proud of yourself, the more likely you are to take action in helping someone else.
Here is your homework, ask yourself:“What is one thing I could do today that would make me proud of myself?”
It doesn’t have to be monumental. It just has to matter to you.
Because at the end of the day, the person you live with the longest is you. And the greatest gift you can give yourself is to become someone you deeply respect, trust, and admire.
I’m already proud of you,
