Pretending

What did you pretend as a child?

Did you play house, teach, go on adventures, perform on a stage, run a store, or create a restaurant?

Did you have an imaginary friend or pet?

Were you in a circus act, living in a covered wagon, or hiding out in a secret fort?

Research in child development shows that children ages 3-6 are at the peak of their pretending years. By age 9, pretending makes up significantly less of their playtime and by age 12 most children have stopped pretending as a way of playing. The decline in pretending can be attributed to starting school, technology as entertainment, judgment from peers, awareness of reality versus imagination, and other societal conditioning messages that children begin to absorb.

Are you feeling sad as you read this, realizing the magic stops way too early for our children? I was too. Seeing this data, reminded me that my children experienced a sense of grief around ages 10 and 11 as they noticed the playroom didn't hold the magic for them that it once did.

The good news is that we can resurrect our imaginations at any age.

Today I want us to consider the power of pretending as adults. You already know how to do this. I bet you have done role-plays in workplace training or practiced a speech with an imagined audience. Maybe you sing in the shower and imagine being on stage with the approval of roaring fans. Perhaps you imagine what a new hair color, certain clothing size, or job title would feel like if that change occurred.

Pretending is a way of giving ourselves hope.

If you like the practice we did last year on the Power of Yet, then you know what it feels like to give yourself hope.

Here is an exercise to help get your pretending juices flowing again:

The Power of Pretending

What did you pretend as a child in your home or yard? List as many things as you can think of:

Were any of these things foreshadowing of things you would become or do as an adult?

Do the environments you created in your pretend play have similarities to the environments in which you live today? Do you have a spirit of adventure that shows in what you pretended as a child? Do you care for people now as you did in your pretend play? Think a little more deeply about the things you played as a child and see if they help you become more self-aware of who you are today.

How might using your imagination today help you with creativity, decision making, or finding hope?

How could a return to pretending help you as an adult? Experiment with role-playing how you would like for a conversation to go. Explore how you might pretend to do the job you long to have. Pretend you are on a date with the partner of your dreams. Pretend you are walking the beaches, streets, or landscape of the place you want to visit. Pretend you already have what you most desire.

Notice what you feel when you pretend as an adult. You might feel resistance to this at first feeling silly or too idealistic but move into that discomfort a little further to avoid robbing yourself of this experience. Fear of disappointment might arise. You might notice a feeling of guilt or "shouldn't" come up when you imagine what you desire. Place those feelings of resistance on a shelf for a bit, and allow your inner child to pretend once again. It is a path toward hope of the future you desire. What we pretend often becomes our reality.

If you like this sort of thing, join the online Compassion Fix classes happening now. Friday at 10 CST we are talking more about the power of pretending. We would love to hear what you think and experience as you play with this exercise. Register now.

Consider the power of pretending in your life this week. Might it help you find your purpose, calling, contribution, or service to the world? Might it help you start something you have been afraid to do?

Let yourself daydream and imagine the reality of what is yet unseen.

Embracing our capacity to imagine and pretend is how we cultivate hope. And, remember that believing in things we cannot yet see is also called faith.

Imagine the possibilities.

Sending you love and gratitude,