6 People

If you read these emails, then you are a person who likes to think deeply, grow toward your potential, and view the world through a lens of compassion.

Do the people you hang out with match that description too?

I talk with people who are in their teens and twenties in the process of filtering through temporary friends, searching for permanent ones. And I work with people in their sixties and seventies who have those permanent friends but still have to filter the people they spend time with. The filtering never stops. Filtering is an act of compassion for yourself and others. It isn't about discarding, it is about choosing wisely to feed your soul so you can be love in the world.

Mark Twain is quoted as saying, "keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

Here is an exercise that might help you be introspective with your relationships and more intentional about whom you give your precious time to.

Write down the names of 6 people who you spend the most time with right now (consider at home and work, in-person and zoom, if covid gets in the way consider pre or post covid for this exercise):

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Consider these inquiries for each person:

Does this person believe and value similar things as me?

Is this person one of my biggest fans?

Do I feel competitive with them or happy for both of us?

Does this person encourage me to live into the best version of myself?

Do they challenge me to grow?

Is this someone I trust and believe in their loyalty?

Do they inspire me or bore me when I'm in their presence?

Do I feel trapped or free when I am with them?

Can I shine bright with them or do I feel the need to dim?

Am I expanding with them or constricting?

Do I feel loved or judged?


If you feel like you just got rid of everyone. You are not alone. Many people find this exercise deflating. However, this exercise isn't about ending relationships, it is a practice of exploring worthiness. Now, shift into your sense of worthiness and realize: You are worth saving. Your time is worth considering. Your soul is worth protecting.

You might have this conversation with those you love and trust: Select a couple of the phrases in the questions below and rep-phrase it to say something like "I think I need a little more of this from you.." or "Sometimes I feel.... and yet I want you in my life.... can we talk about this a little more?"

If this list felt selfish to you or "all about me," then do it again with an open mind and think about what you would want for a child to feel. You would want that child surrounded by love and encouragement. It is okay to want that for yourself too. You need it as much as that child needs it. The child within you is tired of being hurt by people and wants to come alive again.

To be the instrument of love you want to be in the world, you have to surround yourself with that same love. Love begets love.

You are on a path of growth, find the people growing towards the sun also. Make some space for love to come in, and trust that it will. In the space you create, re-visit these questions above and be that champion for yourself. When you do that, you magnetize people into your life who will help you shine even brighter.

And it doesn't have to be right now, you are on a journey and this is food for thought.
Think about who lifts you higher and spend time in their presence.

Imagine the possibilities,