Holiday Peace

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Sometimes our desire to get it right zooms into high gear around the holidays:

  • Make the right food

  • Attend the right events

  • Wear the right clothes

  • Give the right gifts

  • Say the right things

  • Bake the right cookies

  • See the right sights

  • Take the right photos

  • Make the right memories

The pressure mounts as we see commercials with idyllic scenes, scroll online, or hear what other people are doing. We want to do all the right things, and do all the things right.

But who determines what right is? Are we keeping everyone happy? Are we exceeding expectations? Are we impressing others? Are we saying what someone wants to hear? Are we portraying the image of a perfect family? Did we get it right?

The practice for this week is to think about what is really important to you during the holiday season. What brings you joy? What fills your soul? What brings you peace? Do that.

Holiday Peace

Here are some questions to consider as you set intentions for your holiday season.
Run through this list for Thanksgiving and then again with Christmas in mind.

  1. What is the most important thing to feel during this holiday? What do I need to do to feel that?

  2. What is my top priority for this holiday (hint, what brings you the most joy)?

  3. What causes me the most stress and how can I minimize that stress?

  4. What must I avoid doing because it causes me to feel resentment, anger, or sadness?

  5. What gets me in to trouble and how can I avoid that? (too much alcohol, talking politics, not sleeping enough, high sugar foods, over spending, etc.)

  6. What helps me feel calm and peaceful?

  7. Above all else, I want to...

After you consider these questions, then decide what boundaries need to be in place to honor your intentions. Also, think about what conversations need to happen before the holidays to make sure the boundaries are clear. Get in front of designing your holiday experiences to end the pattern of reacting to what happens and feeling badly about the outcome.

When you notice self-doubt and worry rising, gratitude is the antidote. In that moment, shift into gratitude with a statement of "I am grateful for____________ " and you will notice the worry diffuse a bit. 

Mantras are helpful during the holidays. It can be one word that describes what you want to remember. It can be a phrase of encouragement to yourself. It can also be a song lyric or scripture or quote that serves as your reset button. Develop a mantra to capture what you want to remind yourself of during the holidays.

As you prepare for the weeks ahead, some practices to review are No Big Deal, Compassionate Hands, and Holy Shift. 

If you need a sounding board, please reach out to me. You are not alone. 

You are a loving human being. You are already getting it right.

Sending you love,