Opinions

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Are you hearing opinions on who to vote for, how to avoid getting sick, or if children should go to school?

I am. And because I'm often thinking of the Compassion Fix Community and what would help us all get through life a little easier, I want to share with you a filter for other people's opinions.

This filter of introspective questions helps me decide which opinions I value and respect versus those I release to float down the river.

Filtering the Opinions of Others

When discerning who to believe or trust, a list of questions can help us. Learning to trust your own intuition and who deserves your trust is a fundamental life skill. Little tools like this can help us navigate the opinions we hear from others. 

Is this coming from a person or source...

  • with whom I share core values and principles? 

  • with expertise and life experience in this topic?

  • who has my best interest in mind?

  • whom I feel usually aligns with what I believe is the truth of love and compassion?

  • that helps me consider both advantaged and marginalized persons?

Or might this be a person or source...

  • who is disguising criticism as advice?

  • who doesn't understand me or my circumstances?

  • who may have an institutional agenda or motivation?

  • I did not ask for or seek out their opinion?

I spent decades thinking I needed as many opinions as I could gather because I didn't trust myself to make a decision on my own. In my 40's I have intentionally worked on learning to listen to my intuition, gut feelings, and a deep sense of knowing. When I listen to my intuition, I'm finding it usually guides me to the right answer. I explore the topic of intuition with James Cochran in this two-part podcast discussion: What is intuition? and How does intuition affect our relationships?

I had to work at learning to trust myself, here is an easy step you can take if you want to get better at this too.

When it comes to parenting, I value the opinions of other great parents I know, researchers, and psychologists. When Rob and I are considering choices as parents, we often discuss the question, "what will bring us the least amount of regret in the long run?" We know we will get parenting wrong sometimes, but this question helps us mitigate the risk a bit as we forecast our way through all of our options. 

We are navigating new waters as a human species, so be gentle with yourself and those around you. In my conversations with clients and friends, I am noticing a lot of anxiety, struggling relationships, and hurt feelings. We are tender, proceed gently. Trust your own opinions, intuition, and the opinions of those you trust. 

Sending you love and peace,