Judge Softly
/We all know versions of the idiom, "before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes."
This wisdom is said to originate from a 1895 poem by Mary Lathrap. Mary was a poet, reformer, suffragist, and preacher from Michigan. Her timeless works of poetry speak to social justice and human equality.
Her poem titled "Judge Softly" is in the image above. After reading her poem, try the exercise In Their Shoes and practice seeing yourself as one with those we judge.
In Their Shoes
Next time you notice yourself judging another person, try this simple mind shift toward compassion by placing yourself in their shoes. Literally, imagine that person is you. The more you do this, you will grow in compassion for others, be reminded that we are all sharing this human experience, and soften towards judging yourself harshly too.
Follow the prompts below to give you an idea of how this works in our lives. Notice the judgment, then imagine that you are that person whom you are judging.
That parent shouldn't let that child throw a fit - There I am frustrated and tired, with a toddler melting down in the grocery aisle. I wish people would quit staring. I'm a good mom having a bad day.
That person is really out of shape - Here I am feeling heavy and out of breath after climbing the stairs, I wish I was motivated to get fit, this embarrasses me.
He made a really stupid financial investment - That's me falling for something too good to be true, hoping I could make more money for my family, I knew it wasn't smart, but I was desperate.
She is so materialistic - Here I am buying things that I hope will make me feel better about myself, and everyone else is buying new things.
Those kids are spoiled rotten - There I am, trying to make my kids happy and longing for them to love me, I thought giving them everything they wanted would keep them happy.
That was a really stupid thing to say - Here I am feeling insecure and trying to contribute to the conversation without thinking it through all the way.
That guy doesn't belong in this club - This is me, feeling out of my league and unaccepted here, trying to convince myself that I belong.
Those kids must have bad parents - This is us trying to be good devoted parents and despite our parenting, our kids are making poor choices.
That woman thinks she's more talented than she is - Here I am putting myself out there and trying something new, I will keep getting better at this.
Compassion connects us and reminds us that we are all sharing a human experience. The more we put ourselves in the shoes of others, the more we feel connected to others. The more connected we feel to others, the less isolated we feel.
Judging separates us and leads to feelings of isolation.
Compassion connects us.
Mary T, Lathrap knew this in 1895. It is time we listen.
Sending you love,
