Least Regret and Inner Circles

I heard from a few of you that last week's email helped you consider options regarding holiday plans and many other decisions you are facing right now. Many are feeling a new sense of pressure in decision-making now that more people are traveling and gathering together again.

Here are a couple of other things to consider as you explore your options further:

"The Path of Least Regret" is a tool that can help when we are facing a dilemma.

What is regret? It is a negative emotion where we blame ourselves for a bad outcome or wish we had made an alternative choice. Regret is helpful in our young years to gain insights, improve our decision-making, and maintain healthy relationships. For many of us, as we age, we tend to regret things we didn't do rather than things we do. Regret can be helpful, but it can also interrupt our well-being when we get stuck in thought patterns that lack self-compassion.

As you consider your options, considering potential regret can be a helpful tool in your decision-making toolbox. Is one option more likely to lead to future regret than another option? Think about what is at stake, what you might beat yourself up for later, and/or what potential consequences might arise from each option. Then think through how you are wired and what types of things you typically regret. This process can help us mitigate risk and regret.

Like many of our thoughts and feelings, regret is something we choose to bring into our minds. However, this tool of considering "which path has the least potential for regret?" is one that can be helpful when we are seeking additional clarity in our decision-making.

My husband and I use this tool in our conversations about parenting decisions. Parenting is a constant game of trial and error - considering the path of least regret has helped us find some clarity along the way.

"My Inner Circle" is another tool that helps us find clarity in the midst of a dilemma.

Your inner-most circle is who you care about the most, value their presence in your life, consider their opinions greater than others, and who primarily receives your love and attention. Consider who is most important to you - it might be a partner, children, immediate family, dear friends. Place their names with yours in the center of a diagram like the one below. Make sure you include your name in that circle of important people in your life.

In the next circle, place the names of those you care about, love, and consider, but are secondary to your inner-most circle. And repeat that with as many circles as you need to place on your diagram.

This tool can help provide clarity as you weigh your options, consider whose opinion counts, set priorities for commitments, and help you focus your energy on those most important to you.

This is not intended to be shared or to hurt anyone's feelings - it is just a tool for introspection as you consider your options and make decisions.

This tool helps me when I get in the mode of trying-to-be-all-things-to-all-people. Everyone in my life is important to me, but this tool can help me remember where to focus my energy. And when I think about merging these tools together, it helps to consider the weight of regret I might feel with my inner-most circle versus my outer circles.

I hope these two tools for clarity might help you as you navigate your decisions.

Sending you love and clarity,
Ginger