Family Stories
/I have been researching and investigating the power of telling our stories this month for a class I'm teaching in the Compassion Fix Community online classroom. In that research, I found a fascinating study of the power of telling our family stories to our younger generations.
The researchers found a direct correlation between children knowing their family stories with an increase in self-confidence, resiliency, healthier relationships, and their belief that they can be successful in the future.
In the summer of 2001, Drs. Robyn Fivush and Marshall Duke at Emory University asked children a series of 20 questions and then compared the number of "yes" to psychological testing with these same children. Their results showed that the more children knew about their family history, the more emotional health and happiness they reported.
And this is what I found super interesting - the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack happened just two months after this data had been gathered. The researchers checked in with their study participants and found that the children who knew more about their family history showed less stress in a national crisis than children who had answered "no" to knowing stories of their family history. After Sept. 11, Dr. Duke reported, "the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress...The answers have to do with a child's sense of being part of a larger family."
Sunday night, my family reviewed these questions and it was fun to see how much our teenagers knew. We filled in the holes and the stories expanded beyond this list. As we shared stories, I could see them connecting to our larger family narrative. I'm going to share more about the power of storytelling in next week's email, but for this week, print this out and start some conversations in your families!
Do you know how your parents met?
Do you know where your mother grew up?
Do you know where your father grew up?
Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up?
Do you know where some of your grandparents met?
Do you know where your parents were married?
Do you know what went on when you were being born?
Do you know the source of your name?
Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born?
Do you know which person in your family you look most like?
Do you know which person in the family you act most like?
Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger?
Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences?
Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school?
Do you know the national background of your family (such as English, German, Russian, etc)?
Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young?
Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young?
Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to?
Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to?
Do you know about a relative whose face "froze" in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough?
In addition to these questions, my family talked about who our oldest and best friends are, our favorite teachers, talents and interests when we were young, favorite holidays, favorite foods, and vacation memories. I hope you let this list begin your conversations and then make them your own in your family.
Sharing stories within our families helps us feel connected, allows us to better understand one another and ourselves, and reminds us that we are rooted in a narrative that is multi-generational. Next week, I will share more on how stories help build resiliency and bring healing to both the teller and the listener.
Sending you my love,
Ginger
