Should or Must?

Artist Elle Luna has a beautiful book called The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion. This book is fantastic and I often gift it to high school and college graduates. Elle takes us through a journey of considering what is most important to you and how to follow your passions toward fulfillment.

The question of "Should or must?" struck me in a new way today as I was in conversation with a client about her holiday stress, so I want to invite you to consider this too.

In her book, Elle teaches about following a passion or calling, but today I applied her teaching to thinking about holidays and expectations.

Here is some of what Elle shares in her book:

There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And every day, we get to choose.

Should is how other people want us to live our lives. It's all of the expectations that others layer upon us...When we choose Should, we're choosing to live our life for someone or something other than ourselves.

Must is different.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It's that which calls to us most deeply. It's our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges and desires - unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable...Must is when we stop conforming to other people's ideals and start connecting to our own - and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals.

Ask yourself this question as you go through the holiday season: Is this a holiday should or must?

Make a list of all of the things you feel you should do for the holidays.

Now, go back through that list and consider if that item is an expectation from someone else or something you feel you truly must do.

What must you do for this holiday season to have deep meaning for you?
What must happen for this season to feel the way you want it to?
What truly matters to you this holiday season?
What do you want to experience?
How do you want to feel?

Living in "shoulds" can lead to resentment and bitterness which can hurt our relationships, steal our joy, and cause us to miss the magic.

Notice when you begin to "should" on yourself this holiday season. Only do the musts and do them wholeheartedly.

Where is your heart leading you? That is the path toward joy.

We have had a tough couple of years as a human race. Design this holiday season so that it fills your soul and restores your spirit. Do the things that bring you joy and give you a sense of meaning...then you will spark joy and inspire a sense of meaning in those around you.

Sending you love and joy,

Ginger