It Might Be Fantastic
/I was meeting with a client last week who has spent over a decade in upper management in an unhealthy corporate culture. Her company has tremendously high turn over and an inner circle of top executives who won’t address the systemic problems in the organization.
For the past few years, we have talked about how to survive in this toxic environment because she financially needed to stay in this organization. But, over time I have watched her lose her passion because of her work environment. Last week, we made a plan for her to leave this job and find a new one.
As we talked through the plan, she felt relief and excitement. Her face lit up with hope. Then I watched as fear began to flood her brain. She expressed doubt that she could match her salary. She worried that the next organization might be just as unhealthy. She was afraid of giving up great benefits and flexibility earned by her long tenure. She doubted her interviewing skills. She realized she enjoyed most of the people who worked on her team, except for five or six very difficult people.
After listening to her and noting her worries on the white board in my office, I could hear her talking herself into staying in this job. She said, “what if the next place is worse?”
I answered, "it could be.” Then I asked in a soft low voice…
“but what if it is fantastic?”
We both just paused for a few seconds of silence to take that in.
What if her salary could be even higher and she didn’t have to fight hard for what amounted to a very small raise every year? What if the next organization was thriving and full of emotionally healthy people? What if the benefit plan and time off was better than she has ever been offered before? What if she loved everyone on her team and everyone loved her?
What if she was finally treated with the respect and admiration she deserved? What if her ideas were valued and implemented? What if she found friends and mentors who helped her soar even higher? What if going to work felt fantastic?
Our brain defaults to keeping us safe and considering everything that could go wrong. We are great at imagining worst-case scenarios. And, it helps us avoid danger many times. However, when we are trying to make a decision, it is important for us to guide our brains to imagining the fantastic scenarios as well. The more we practice this, the more easily our brain defaults to considering what could happen across a spectrum of options, not just the worst scenarios.
When we look for the bad, we find it. When we look for the fantastic, we find it. I think fantastic sounds like a lot more fun, doesn’t it?
Start practicing this today - stretch your brain into imagining all that could go right when you notice that you are imagining all that could go wrong. Consider:
decisions you are making
conversations you are afraid to have
the futures of children you are worried about
relationships you fear ending
relocations you are exploring
upcoming life events
That thing you are worried about…it might be fantastic.
Life is hard, it is also wonderful. Life is beautiful, it is also brutal. It is “brutiful,” as Glennon Doyle often says in her podcast “We Can Do Hard Things.” Life is brutiful, and it gets a little better when we pause to imagine that it could turn out to be fantastic.
Imagine fantastic outcomes this week and see how you feel.
Here’s to a fantastic week,
