Jealous Action
/Feeling a pang of jealousy can sometimes be just what we need to get unstuck.
Jealousy usually indicates a negative feeling we have toward someone who has what we want. It can also be a tool of insight and action.
Uncomfortable emotions are helpful messengers to us. Our jealousy indicates something we desire, and often we criticize the person who gets what we wanted. However, with some intentional thinking, we can reframe jealousy into action for ourselves instead of ill will for someone else.
Try this exercise:
On a piece of paper, divide the space into three columns.
In the first column, list everyone who comes to mind that makes you feel jealous when you think of them.
In the second column, write a few words on why you are jealous of them.
In the third column, name one step you can take to obtain what they have or create something even better in your life.
Here are some examples:
Beth - she just lost 40 pounds - I will take a brisk walk today
Kyle - he has a growing photography business - I am signing up for an online class
Susan - she has a new house - I will repaint a room in mine this weekend
Lydia - she published a book - I will write 500 words every day for 30 days
Jake - he gets all the girls - I will be courageous and talk to Sarah after class tomorrow
This exercise can be so helpful to shift out of jealousy and into momentum toward your goal.
Jealousy is a cousin to self-pity. And what we know about self-pity is that it isolates us and makes us feel alone in the world. Jealousy can make us feel hopeless. This exercise helps us move forward and name what we are going to do to take personal responsibility for getting what we desire.
Feeling jealous is part of being human. Instead of shaming yourself for feeling jealous of someone, see it as a message of hope. Harness the energy of jealousy into action.
And while you are at it, here are some helpful things to say to yourself when you feel comparison and jealousy creeping their way into your mindset:
She is beautiful and so am I.
He is successful and so am I.
She got what she wanted and I'm about to get mine too.
They are happy and we are too.
She is fit and I can be too.
He is making money and I am too.
Self-compassion is the best antidote to self-pity. Where self-pity isolates us, self-compassion unites us. Compassion reminds us that we are all striving and longing for similar outcomes in this human experience.
Celebrate others and celebrate yourself too.
Sending you love and peace,
