Say Your Name
/Have you ever felt a little crazy for talking to yourself?
You aren't crazy. In fact, if you are doing it in the third person and using your own name in the conversation, then you are doing something healthy for your brain!
Ethan Kross, in the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan, has extensively studied the power of using our own names in our self-talk. He has found that anxious thinking can be alleviated by speaking to ourselves in the third person. Our brain feels less anxious when it hears from an inner coach helping us through life.
The reason this works is that when we hear our own name, our brain feels loved. It doesn't matter where the love is coming from (ourselves or someone else), our brain feels a loving connection that makes us feel safe and gives us a sense of belonging. When we feel safe, our anxious and worried thinking quiets down.
A recent study found that emotional distress decreased immediately (within one second) of the participant using their own name in an encouraging sentence while being monitored by electroencephalography (EEG). Researcher, Jason Moser summed up the main takeaway of his EEG third-person self-talk experiment, "Essentially, we think referring to yourself in the third person leads people to think about themselves more similar to how they think about others, and you can see evidence for this in the brain. That helps people gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from their experiences, which can often be useful for regulating emotions."
Try it this week. Speak to yourself using your own name. Encourage yourself throughout your day. Notice if you feel a little less isolated. This is a powerful practice on our way to coaching ourselves through tough times.
Say Your Own Name
Practice talking to yourself in the third person - say your name and offer encouragement like you would to a friend.
[your name], I see that you are [feeling], remember you are [positive quality] and you can figure this out.
Here are some scenarios where you can give it a try.
When a disagreement is boiling at home...
When exercise gets hard and you want to quit...
When you can't untangle the Christmas lights...
When you aren't being recognized for your contribution...
When a conflict with a friend arises...
When you burn the cookies...
When you have a misunderstanding with a neighbor...
When a parent criticizes you...
When you stub your toe on the ottoman...
When you make a mistake...
Kross and Moser's research shows that using our own name in self-talk is even more effective than "I am.." statements. Next time you feel afraid to try something new...replace the encouraging thought "I can do this" with your own name. "Ginger, you can do this." Notice if it feels different to you than an "I" statement.
Saying your own name and coaching yourself through adversity is a practice of self-compassion and helps you develop self-trust. As we grow more compassionate toward our inner selves, we grow more compassionate toward others.
Say your own name and feel the love!
Sending you love,
