Emotional Myths

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Many of us have our own unwritten rules about which emotions are good, bad, appropriate, weak, allowed, avoided, and so on. 

Think about some of the phrases you use when an emotion comes up:

  • I shouldn’t be crying

  • Sorry, I’m getting emotional 

  • I’m ashamed I was angry

  • I’m nervous and it’s embarrassing

Who told you to stop crying?

Where did you need to apologize for getting emotional?

When did you decide that anger is something to be ashamed of?

Why is being nervous embarrassing?

We form beliefs about our emotions at an early age.

If our emotions were not convenient for the adults in our lives, then we were likely reprimanded and as a result we labeled them as wrong. We didn’t have the logic yet to say to ourselves, “crying is okay, just not right now.” Instead, our young brains formed a belief such as, “crying is bad.” 

Which emotions feel most uncomfortable for you?

Spend some time this week noticing which emotions you don’t like to feel, which emotions you try to avoid, and which you label as bad or weak. 

The emotions we struggle to tolerate in ourselves are usually the same ones we struggle to tolerate in others.

If you think crying is a sign of your own weakness, you are more likely to think it is a weakness when someone else cries. If you think anger is a dangerous emotion for you to feel, then you likely won’t be comfortable with seeing someone else get angry. 

If we want to become more compassionate to the emotions of those around us, then it starts with becoming more compassionate to our own emotions. 

Emotions are not always convenient, but they aren’t bad. Feeling waves of emotions throughout your day isn’t a problem, it means you are human.

Experiencing the full spectrum of emotions is part of our shared human experience. 

Spend some time unpacking the myths you might be holding on to about your own emotions. Can you start over with those beliefs? Can you welcome the emotions you fear the most? This has been hard for me, but really feeling them is not as scary as I had imagined. I don’t apologize for emotions anymore, I hold them with compassion as they bring my attention to something that needs to be addressed. I’ve found that big feelings accompany big love.

Emotions indicate you care.

Let’s welcome our emotional waves as part of being human and love our humans as they express their emotions to us.  

Big Big Love,