Unconscious Biases
/This week, as the United States faces the truth of generations of racism, some of us may feel overwhelmed with where to start to contribute compassion, grace, and healing. It is understandable that grief, anger, and fear are emotions many of us are feeling right now.
Self-awareness is a place to start to work towards reconciliation and societal change. Knowing our beliefs and biases can help us identify blindspots and grow into becoming the people we long to be, contributing peace and compassion to the world.
We naturally have an affinity and comfort with people who look, sound, and behave similar to us. This makes sense, we all want to be liked, accepted, protected, and loved. We tend to think we belong and are safer with people similar to us. However, that natural affinity can grow into an unconscious bias toward others. Unchecked, we may begin to believe that people who are different than us are dangerous. When that fear is allowed to grow irrational and exaggerated, we can become divisive and prejudiced.
To contribute peace, we must first acknowledge where we may have a level of unconscious bias. The messages we were taught and heard and as children formed our opinions. Now, as adults, we have the opportunity to expand our awareness and form our own beliefs. Consider the list of potential areas of bias below and spend some time identifying where you may focus your own expansion.
Exploring Our Biases
Our families of origin, life experiences, and community conversations form our biases toward groups of people and the life circumstances of others.
Observe the areas where differences make you feel uncomfortable.
Consider how these areas were discussed in your home, extended family, and school as you were growing up.
Recall times when you were mistreated because of your own differences from others, how did this affect you?
Recall times when you treated someone badly because of a difference, what do you know now that you didn't know then?
Notice the groups or types of people with whom you feel most comfortable and with whom you feel least at ease.
Consider resources or people who could teach you more about a group with whom you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable. How might this learning allow for you to grow and contribute more compassion to others?
Harvard University has created an online tool to help us become more aware of our implicit hidden biases, click here to use this tool as a guest with no login required. It is a fascinating exercise in growing your self-awareness.
As Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Exploring our irritations and embedded biases can open our hearts and minds to the peace and love our nation so desperately needs right now. Let's each take time this week to think about our own biases and choose one or two to begin to release, allowing space for a sense of peace to grow.
"For every door that’s been opened to me, I’ve tried to open my door to others. And here is what I have to say, finally: Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become."
These are words from the book Becoming by Michelle Obama. (If you just felt an inner bristle when you saw the name Michelle Obama, take this as an opportunity to become aware of an unconscious bias. Now with that awareness, read her words again. Begin to notice little moments like this where you may see something that triggers an inner bias. Observe this without judging yourself...I love you and we all have work to do.)
I will end with these words of M. Scott Peck from The Road Less Traveled, "Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice, and a profound tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there."
It is time that we all see what is really there and collectively work toward love.
Sending you love and peace,
