If-Then Statements

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Most of us find it difficult to stay in the present moment without our minds wandering toward worrying about the future or reviewing the past.

One of the reasons it is hard for us to stay in the present moment is because we are hardwired to be thinking about the future.

Our brain is always looking ahead to keep us safe. What threats are looming out there? What do we need to stay safe? What should we be prepared for? What’s coming next? What do I need to be thinking about?

But this forward thinking can rob us of fully enjoying this moment—this present moment, right now.

I notice this with women especially: we are miles ahead, thinking of everything that needs to be done. I also know men who are thinking 30 years out financially and worried that there won’t be enough. We are wired to worry, but we miss being fully present in the moment we have right now.

I have clients in their 80s who share that if they could go back and soak it all up, they would pay more attention to what is right in front of them.

If-then statements are something that helps me stay in the moment. I think through the things I’m worried about in the future and make a plan for how I will handle them.

If [this happens], then I [will do this].

I picked up this tool when I was working for a large business consulting firm. I was in change management, which meant helping people get used to the new systems we were installing. My friends were on the systems side, coding new software for people to use. They built it, I trained the people on it.

One night there was a glitch in the programming we were set to launch and we all stayed late supporting the software team as they worked to fix fix the glitch. My friends kept reviewing “if-then” statements in the coding language. “If the user enters xyz, then abc happens.” I heard this over and over again as we went line by line through the computer code.

In my personal life, I was in the process of moving to a new city. I was afraid of all that could go wrong. But I liked this idea of if-then statements and while the team was puzzle-solving, I started playing with my own if-then statements:

  • If I don’t like it after six months, then I will move back.

  • If I picked the wrong place to live, then I will find a new place.

  • If I get lost in the city, then I will ask for help.

  • If I miss my family, then I’ll fly back to see them.

  • If I don’t make friends, then I’ll take art classes.

  • If I am lonely, then I’ll get a cat.

The tech team fixed the computer program, but more importantly, I felt less afraid of moving to a new city. It was like a weight of worry lifted off of my shoulders. I had a plan for all of the things I feared.

Twenty years later, I know there is neuroscience to explain why I felt better. Our amygdala in the center of our brain sounds the alarms when we are afraid. But the amygdala calms down when our prefrontal-cortex (at the front of the brain) makes a plan. If-then statements make our brains feel like we have a plan in place and thus our fear diminishes. And when our fear diminishes, we can enjoy the present moment more.

Try This

What are you currently worrying about? Are there future events that feel out of your control? How could you apply if-then statements to your worries?

I have used this tool a lot with clients waiting on medical test results. I write all the “if” statements on the whiteboard and then we work through our “then” plan. Instead of spiraling down the path of worry, we make a plan for everything we can think of and our brain settles down.

In a world where so much is out of our control, this tool helps us feel like we can control our next steps. And truly, that is all we can do anyway.

If [this happens], then [I will do this].

You’ve got this!