The Tone of Self-Talk

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When you notice a thought of self criticism, does it sound:

  • accusatory

  • demeaning

  • annoyed

  • raging

  • aggravated

  • belittling

  • abusive

  • or does it sound like this angry opossum hissing at you?

(No offense to opossums, but I have some experience with them as a farm girl, so when I teach this practice I use my least favorite animal. They aren't welcome in our barns or our minds.) 

Now, adjust the tone of that accusatory thought into something kinder and more gentle. 

Think of how you would give a suggestion to a friend. Use that same tone when talking to yourself.

Imagine that you are looking into a messy closet. Do you hear an accusatory voice?

YOU ARE SUCH A MESS! THIS IS A DISASTER! WHY HAVEN'T YOU CLEANED THIS UP?!?!?

if you do, try this instead:
Imagine how you would talk to a friend about a messy closet. 

This isn't too bad. But, you might feel better if you spent a little time organizing. This seems to be stressing you out and organizing some things may help you feel more peaceful.

Can you hear how different the tone is? 

We aren't saying the closet doesn't need some attention, but we are going to say it in a kinder way....which the research shows increases your motivation to do something about it! 

And in fairness to opossums, here's a cute one below (sort of.)

Sending you love,

 

By Cody Pope - Wikipedia:User:Cody.pope, CC BY-SA 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1705724