Connect with Your Inner Child

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In a class I teach about connecting with your teen, I share a slide with suggestions my teen clients have for parents. In my poll, I asked the teens what they wish their parents would do more of. Here are some of the things the teens said:

  • Be less serious 

  • Laugh more

  • Don’t freak out

  • Say “I love you” more

  • Spend time alone with just me

  • Like and appreciate my friends

  • Have more cozy family nights at home

  • Give me small surprises

  • Accept who I am

  • Respect my room as my space

  • Don’t keep reminding me of past mistakes

  • Give me a little more freedom

  • Be silly with me

Being a parent can be so difficult, and yet these things are pretty easy for us to do. It helps when we remember that there is a child in that teenage body who still needs assurance, affection, and attention even though they might act like they don’t want those things. 

No matter our age, we all have a child inside us that wants to feel loved and know we matter to someone. 

There is in inner child in every human being. That inner child wants to feel safe, adored, cherished, and many times longs for what we did not receive in our childhood. You can give your inner child now what you did not receive as a child. It is known as “re-parenting yourself.” Say the things to yourself now that you didn’t hear as you were growing up. Be the adult that child needed. 

You can do this by imagining yourself at a certain age. See your home setting, school setting, or activities you were involved in. Notice what you are wearing, what your hair looks like, what personality you had, and how darling that little person is. What does that child need to know? What do they need to hear from a loving adult? What encouragement could you give to them? Imagine that as an adult you are telling that child very loving, encouraging, validating things. Give them hope that it is all going to be okay. 

Also, take that inner child of yours outside to play. What did you love to do as a kid? Do some of that now. Swing on the swings. Color with new crayons. Skip. Dance. Create something. Laugh at silly videos. Make lemonade. See the dandelions as wishes instead of weeds. Buy something that doesn’t make sense. Use your imagination.

Connect with the child inside yourself.

We all have a child who wants to be seen, heard, loved, and understood. Love on your inner child this week. Then you will naturally love everyone else a little more too. 

From my inner child to yours,