Solidarity
/Solidarity is a word we toss around sometimes, but lately I’ve been thinking about it more deeply. I’m inviting you to ponder solidarity with me - solidarity with others and solidarity with ourselves. We will ponder together…
I researched the etymology (where a word comes from) and found that the word solidarity came to our English language from our French language - solidarité. In France, it was first used in financial and legal contexts to describe a mutual obligation. A chosen responsibility for another person’s debts, duties, contracts - in essence: if you can’t honor your commitment, I will help you fulfill it. It evolved to be used to describe the spirit of: “I will stand with you, I will help you, you aren’t alone in this.”
And that’s what I’ve been pondering this week. It started in a class I was teaching last week. A loving woman was hurting for the people of Ukraine. Another loving woman expressed that sometimes Americans over-involve themselves in foreign issues and cause dependencies that can end up hurting people. Both women are right and yet none of it feels right. Our loving hearts are breaking in lots of ways right now. It was a room full of love and in my classes we often have conversations where we can come at an issue from multiple directions and find compassion for all, but that interaction kept me thinking: how do we show solidarity to hurting people when we feel helpless and unsure of how to help? What is ours to do?
Solidarity offers dignity, recognition of our shared humanity, and an interconnectedness that we matter to one another. It is an active presence of standing solid for you, sharing my strength with you, supporting your needs, carrying your burden, and remembering our unity. Solidarity is illustrated in the current slang phrase, “I’ve got you.”
Solidarity says, “I will not turn away from you. I’m here with you. You matter to me.”
You know how to do it, you are already doing it, but here are some nudges:
Truly Listen - when someone shares their story, listen without interrupting, judging, or offering solutions right away. Presence itself is an act of solidarity.
Send a note or message - a simple, “This is hard. I’m with you in it,” text, card, or email, it matters, do it.
Show up - support what they are doing, sit with them, physically be there.
Work to expand your understanding - follow accounts online that help you hear diverse voices, see things that are new to you through a lens of compassion and loving curiosity.
Protect and advocate- defend the hurting one when someone is talking about them, speak with admiration of them not judgement, help represent them in a loving way.
Do the heavy lifting - when someone is weary, afraid, or silenced, lend them your strength, steadiness, and voice, you do the work so they don’t have to.
Don’t look away - it’s hard to watch someone suffer, but we add to their suffering when we abandon them, stay by their side, pay attention to their aching hearts.
Practicing solidarity with yourself is important too.
My favorite tool for this is imagining someone in another part of the world going through the exact same thing as I am. Here are some examples of how I’ve used it recently:
I’m worried my daughter isn’t home safely yet…a mother in India is also worried about her daughter driving home late at night.
I’m not getting enough done at work…a woman in Africa feels behind in her work today too.
I’m not sure what my purpose is…someone in Paris is sitting in a cafe soul-searching for a sense of purpose right now too.
I miss my son at college…a mom in Brazil is counting the days until her son visits her too.
Mid-life emotions are complicated…there are millions of humans around the globe feeling unsure about this same chapter of life too with kids leaving home, seeing signs of aging in the mirror, and uncertain times ahead…we aren’t the only ones feeling this way.
This practice is so helpful to feel less alone in our human experiences. I started this practice when I had little ones who would be awake in the middle of the night. I would picture parents in countries around the globe sitting up with their toddler. I would smile as I imagined homes around the world and parents in their child’s room, rocking their child who refuses to go to sleep like mine. It brought such a feeling of solidarity to those fatigued lonely moments.
Try this solidarity-around-the-globe practice on one of your worries or struggles this week and see what you notice. It usually feels like a cosmic hug from someone on the other side of the globe.
Our compassion for others grows when we remember that we are in this being-human-club together at this very moment in time.
Solidarity is a practice - with others and with ourselves. Bring the people you ache for to mind and whisper to them, “I am with you.” And then put your hand on your heart and whisper to yourself, “I am with you too.”
By doing this, we become part of a quiet revolution of love, an energy of tenderness, unity, and compassion that contributes hope into the atmosphere. It’s so cool that our hearts are all beating right now, at the same time, alive on this planet in solidarity with one another.
We are never truly alone, solidarity is all around,
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