Happy Trails

Thank you for reading these emails from me.

I started this Tuesday email thing after finishing seminary in 2017, and I haven't missed a Tuesday in nine years. You've journeyed with me through a lot of life. I'm taking a sabbatical while I walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain, so Tuesday emails from me will pause for a couple of months. I'll be back in your inbox in November with more inspiration and insight than ever. Depending on my signal, you might even get a surprise update from the trail.

As I've been talking to clients about this trip, I've noticed myself saying: I'm not a person who hikes like this. I'm not a person who takes two months off work. I'm not a person who goes on a long solo trip. I'm not a person who does hard athletic challenges.

And yet, I am doing all of those things. Which means I actually am a person who does them.

I just hadn't updated my internal story yet.

The last time I felt this kind of identity mismatch was when I enrolled in seminary. It was 2013. I was a forty-year-old mom of a first grader and a kindergartener, wife of a business owner, restless as a stay-at-home mom, and full of theological questions that sermons weren’t answering. I've always loved school, and part of me was thrilled to begin. But underneath that excitement, I kept thinking: I'm not a person who wants to be ordained clergy. I'm not a person who writes twenty-page research papers. I'm not a person who knows the Bible well.

Do you see the pattern? Before I do something super expansive, I create a story about my identity not aligning. 

Do you notice a similar pattern in your own life?

Sometimes I think about how boring my life would be if those stories had won. I wouldn't get to write to you every week. I wouldn't have a book. I wouldn't teach on mystics and world religions. I wouldn't have founded Compassion Fix or found the incredible humans I get to work with every day. All of it almost didn't happen because of a thought that started with "I'm not a person who..."

Maybe your version of this thought is: I'm not a person who goes back to school at this age. Or I'm not a person who leaves a marriage / a job / a city that isn't working anymore. Or I'm not a person who starts a business, asks for the raise, gets on a plane alone, writes the book, goes to therapy, starts running, paints the canvas, makes the first move, spends money on that, or changes their mind about faith. We all have a quiet little list of these limiting stories inside that are holding us back and keeping us stuck. 

So here's what I'm asking you to sit with while I'm gone: Where are you limiting your life with a story about who you are or aren't?

What's the "I'm not a person who..." you've said out loud this year? And what would it mean if it wasn't true anymore?

You can be any person you decide to be. 

This is your time on the planet, how do you want to spend it? 

Do something expansive in the next eight weeks. It doesn’t have to have a big splash, just a quiet adventure with yourself. 

Here’s to our expansion!

Until we meet again,