Expanders

A few years ago, my friend Kara called me an “Expander in her life.” Kara is a super cool human being who is always teaching me new things. As soon as her word “expander” hit my brain, it felt good and I wanted to know more. She explained that one of her spiritual teachers, Lacy Phillips, coined that term to mean someone in your life who helps you expand into your potential.

Lacy Phillips describes it as “an Expander is a person that you identify with that’s already been where you are now, and has gone on to become successful in, owns, or embodies what you want (job, relationship, house, success, friendships, relationship with self, etc). They allow you to “see to believe” that what you want is possible - the feeling of “Oh if they can have/do that, I totally can too!”

Kara said that I am an Expander to her “of faith, strength, self-compassion, knowingness, individuality, joy and fun.” I immediately loved this new job title and made it my mission to become even more of that for the people in my life.

Kara is an Expander to me too. She suggests things that I haven’t thought of yet. She confirms my intuition and encourages me to follow it. She was the one who encouraged my first ideas for Compassion Fix and the work I do today. When we are together we talk about our dreams, share our wonderings, and help each other see how it can all be possible. She expands my heart and mind.

Who are the Kara’s in your life? And who can you be a Kara for?

Find those people who help you expand. I’m watching for people who expand my thinking, help me learn, and encourage my potential. I feel more alive and happy when I’m with my Expanders. I am more authentic, energized and hopeful around them. If, as you read this, your inner critic is whispering, ‘that sounds a little selfish.’ Open your curiosity about this topic and tell that inner critic to be quiet for a few minutes while you read the rest of this email.

If we are all living in an expanded manner, we inspire others to do the same. It isn’t selfish, it is world-serving.

The opposite of expansion is constriction. This happens when we get defensive instead of open to learning something new. It happens when we play small and dim our lights. Constriction occurs around certain people who are jealous or questioning our talents. We constrict when we live in fear. Constriction occurs when we surround ourselves with only people who agree with us.

Expansion comes when we open to being a little uncomfortable, opening our minds, seeing a new point of view, and exploring new ideas. There is so much to learn in our lifetime; open to it, and allow yourself to expand.

Expand this week. Expand the love you have for others by reaching out a little further. See if you can expand the love you have for yourself this week. Take a deep breath and notice the expansion of your lungs. Drive a new route to work. Try food from another culture. Read about a topic you have always wanted to explore. Stretch yourself in new ways. Expand beyond your comfort zone just a notch and see how it feels.

Find your Expanders and be an Expander.