Messy Middles
/May is a month of transitions. For some, it brings the ending of a school year and transition into summer. For others, it might be a monumental graduation month of celebrations. May can also bring simultaneously heavy and warm emotions around Mother’s Day.
May often feels like the “messy middle” as Bruce Feiler calls it. “The messy middle is all about what happens when we’re in the state of in between. It involves a complicated alchemy of giving up old ways and experimenting with new ones, moving beyond what’s past and beginning to define what’s coming. In butterfly-speak, it’s cocooning; in hero-speak, it’s getting lost.”
Remember in cocooning, the caterpillar turns into literal goo before it begins to form a butterfly. And, when I feel lost on my own journey, turning into a crying pile of goo sounds about right. Messy it is!
If you find that May is feeling messy, you might want to double down on some of these basic strategies to help with overwhelm and lostness:
Bring some order into your life - organize one drawer each day, write out your calendar events by hand so you feel fully aware of what’s coming up, clean out your car or purse
Set intentions for how you want to feel - consider your May events and be intentional about going into them with strategies for success, talk with people you love about what you need from them, reduce pressure where ever you can
Move through it - move your body forward to move your mind forward: walk, talk, dance, create something, get outside (my friend and I just went on what she calls a “walkie talkie” and it took us six miles to both share our list of recent challenges)
Be right here, right now - while at May activities, ask yourself “how can I be fully here, now?” Stay present and mindful. This is what I’ve been telling my busy brain lately: when washing dishes, wash dishes; when folding clothes, fold clothes; when driving, just drive; when listening, listen; when tired, sleep (not scroll)
In times of transition, think addition rather than subtraction - transitions always bring an invitation to reflect, renew, grow, and reset. What might this new chapter bring with it? What might be a new area of growth to explore? Consider gains, rather than only losses - especially in the context of school ending or a graduation occurring. For example, I have a high school graduate this year and yesterday was his last Monday in school while living at home. I could spend the month on “lasts” or I can remind myself that this next chapter is about adding new experiences to his life and ours. Adding, adding, more adding.
Remember we are all souls here in Human School and we haven’t done this day ever before. The material is new and the curriculum keeps advancing. We are new at this, but we are growing and learning every day. Our lives are a deep education in what it means to be human.
May each day be one in which we give love, receive love, endure, allow, unfold, discover, and awaken.
So grateful to be in school with you,