Prompts for Gatherings

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Many of us will gather with people we like and love this week. Some of our gatherings will be peaceful and enjoyable but for some, they might be tense and conflicted.

No matter what you are walking into, there is always an opportunity to connect with the hearts in the room and be the love in the room. 

Here are some prompts that may help you this year to avoid controversial topics that foster division, instead let’s focus on connecting and enjoying our time with our people. These prompts might help you lead the conversations into a place of love and connection.

Have a couple of these ready for when the conversation stalls or needs to be redirected:

  • Will you tell me more about_____? - ask about a person, an experience, a memory, a topic they know a lot about, or something they love doing

  • What is the greatest lesson _____ left behind? - talk about those who have died and what you learned from them

  • What or who makes you laugh the most? - it might be a person in the family, types of videos on social media, comedian, shows or movies, or something inappropriately funny but smiles will surface when they talk about whatever it is

  • What do you remember playing or pretending when you were little? - listen to their description and then share what you remember playing or pretending, see what you have in common or what else you remember about childhood 

  • Where would you love to travel? Or: of all of the places you’ve traveled, which is your favorite and why? - this can be adjusted to a favorite place you have lived, or a desire to live - explore places in your minds and watch people light up when they talk about a favorite place

  • If money, talent, and time were no object, what do you wish you could do? - uncover what dreams lie untapped within your family members and encourage them that maybe we should both take some risks to feel more fully alive

  • What is something you wish you could do? - listen as they share what they would like to do and encourage them that they still can do that or explore together finding a new version of that 

  • What was your favorite class in high school or college? Why did you love it? - you can also use least favorite with this on, then share yours too, we often find many things in common in this conversation - you can also ask about their favorite teacher 

  • What jobs did you have in high school, college, and adult life? What did you like about each one or what was the greatest life lesson from that job? - hear about the person’s job experiences and what each experience taught them or helped shape them into the person they are today - you can also ask about worst and best bosses

  • What is a favorite movie, book, or tv show of yours? - pick one category at a time to ask about, knowing if they are a moviegoer, reader, or tv watcher and then followup by asking why they liked it

  • What is your favorite holiday food? - this can be any holiday and you can follow up with asking about favorite holiday traditions and activities too 

If your family has a tradition of going around the table and sharing something they are grateful for, add the word “because…” and have them explain why they are grateful for what they shared. 

I am grateful for ____________ because _____________.

Sharing the why gets into the magic of gratitude and also often leads to a longer conversation you can have later with that person. Go a little deeper with people this year and you will leave your gathering feeling more connected to those whom you engage. 

If you aren’t feeling grateful this holiday, look to nature and gratitude might flow. Gaze at the sky. Breathe in the air. Christian Mystic, Meister Eckhart said,"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you,' it will be enough."

I am grateful for you.

Thank you,