Choose Your Difficult

I was on a walk this week in my neighborhood and stopped to talk with a young mom who had just dropped off her son for his first day of kindergarten. She was describing to me how sad she was, and that it had been a hard morning. Then she said, “I guess I could homeschool him, but that would be hard too—a whole different kind of hard.” She knew he was ready to go to school and that this would just be a tough transition for her mama heart.

After we talked, I kept thinking about what she’d said. She reminded me of something I talk about in conversations with clients: that often, when faced with a challenging decision, we forget that we actually get to “choose our difficult.”

When all of your options seem difficult, ask yourself, “which option is the least difficult?”

A few of my clients are midway through college, and they’re thinking about changing their major. We talk about how it would be difficult for them to start over, or have to stay in school for an extra year. On the other hand, though, it is also really difficult to be stuck in a profession that is meaningless to you. It is up to them to pick which choice is the least difficult for their long-term happiness.

I have a health and fitness goal I’m working on right now, and it’s difficult to stay committed. But it’s also difficult to be sick or have low energy. So I have to choose my difficult when I make nutrition and exercise choices. Then, everything becomes more clear—and less of a struggle.

Right now, you may not be in a place of having to make a hard decision—this is a great practice to file away for later. It helps me whenever my brain throws a tantrum about how challenging something is going to be. I remember that I can evaluate my options and that with every change comes difficulties. I get to choose which path is worth the challenge.

Remembering that you can choose your difficult is a liberating tool to help move out of fear and into empowerment and optimism.

I hope you give it a try this week, especially if your brain starts protesting that something is going to be difficult.

Usually, things are not as difficult as our brains imagine they will be.

And remember, you are stronger than you think you are!

I’m on this journey with you,