Neti-Neti

Over 8,000 years ago in India, a term was created that we can translate into English as “not this, not this.” It was used to describe the phenomenon of answering the questions, “who am I?” and “who is God?” and “what is the purpose of our life?” The term is still used today as “neti-neti.” 

Think about that for a minute - 8,000 years ago humans were creating language to describe the mystery of our human existance.

And here we are today, still trying to figure it out! 

Neti-neti has roots in the Hindu faith and is used today as a mindfulness meditation to realize we are more than we can ever identify or describe. We are an essence, an energy, a soul, a being - those are all things non-tangible and hard to truly comprehend. 

Neti-neti would say I am not just a body, not just a writer, not just a woman, not just a mother, not just an advisor, not just a friend - I am not this, not this. 

Try it out for yourself. See if you can separate yourself from your thoughts and emotions. You are not your thoughts. You can observe that you feel sad, but you are not sadness. You understand that it is passing through, it isn’t your full identity. 

As my teens come and go from my house, I observe them coming and going, but I am reminded that I am a separate entity from them. They have a life and I have a life. 

My thoughts come and go from me, I can observe them coming and going, but I am reminded that I am a separate entity from them. My thoughts have a life and I have a life. 

Thoughts and feelings come and go, they are always just passing through. We are not that thought, not that thought, not that thought. Not this, not this, not this.

Many of us over identify with thoughts and feelings. If we are feeling “off’ it seems that everything is off - parenting skills, work projects, personal relationships, all of it…and it begins to cloud how we see our future. It feels like this thought or feeling will never go away. 

When I feel the heaviness of a bad day, I have to remind myself:

This is a bad day, not a bad life. 

That’s the spirit of neti neti - this feels bad, but I have to look at life as a whole and whisper to myself “not this, not this.” 

An application of this for you to practice is to feel an emotion - let’s take sad as an example. Notice you feel sad, then look around and see things that aren’t sad: the daffodils coming up, say “not this” - the daffodils aren’t a sad thing; the birds singing, say “not this” - the birds singing is not a sad thing; children’s laughter at a nearby park, say “not this” - children laughing is not a sad thing. That’s the practice of neti neti. 

When you feel overtaken by a thought that keeps looping through your brain or an emotion that won’t seem to lift - practice neti neti. Look for examples that are not this and soon you realize that thought is diffused and less powerful in your brain. 

This practice can be especially helpful when we are afraid of world events or the future of our country or worried about a loved one. Look for evidence that not everything is horrible. Try looking around and finding evidence of “not this” during the days ahead and see what you notice. 

I’m on the look out for neti-neti evidence right along with you,