Path of Least Regret

Considering the Path of Least Regret is a tool that can help when we are facing a dilemma.

What is regret?

It is a negative emotion where we blame ourselves for a bad outcome or wish we had made an alternative choice. Regret is helpful in our youth to gain insights, improve our decision making, and maintain healthy relationships.

For many of us, as we age, we tend to regret things we didn't do rather than things we did.

Regret can be helpful, but it can also interrupt our well-being when we get stuck in thought patterns that lack self-compassion.

As you think about your options, considering potential regret can be a helpful tool in your decision-making toolbox.

Is one option more likely to lead to future regret than another option?

Think about what is at stake, what you might beat yourself up for later, and/or what potential consequences might arise from each option. Then think through how you are wired and what types of things you typically regret. This process can help us mitigate risk and regret.

Like many of our thoughts and feelings, regret is something we choose to bring into our minds.

You get to decide how you file your past - in the regret file or in the good-lesson-learned file. However, this tool of considering which path has the least potential for regret can be helpful when we are seeking additional clarity in our decision making.

My husband and I use this tool in our conversations about parenting decisions. Parenting is a constant game of trial and error—considering the path of least regret has helped us find some clarity along the way. We use potential regret as a tool to help us make decisions when it isn’t clear which option we should choose.

Regret is a word that most of us dislike because it brings up a gross feeling. But regret can be a helpful teacher and guide in our decision making. We get to decide if we regret a decision or not. So, using it as a predictive tool can help us minimize the gross feelings of regret. We get in front of it, instead of it being a result of our decision.

Try This:

Make a list of things you regret from your past. This can include things you did and things you did not do. For example: I didn’t speak up, I made a mistake, I didn’t push myself, I quit too soon, I wasn’t brave, I didn’t try, I wasn’t kind, I lied, I didn’t help, I didn’t fight for them, I didn’t apologize, I cheated, I wasn’t thoughtful, I wasn’t strong. This can be a cathartic process of getting it all out on paper. Now, next to each one, note what learning or growth came from that regret. Then see if you can release it as a memory of regret and instead file it in your brain as a valuable lesson learned.

Now make a list of things you don’t want to regret doing or not doing in your future. Think about today until you turn 100, what do you want to make sure you do or don’t do? Does thinking about these potential regrets in the future help you find clarity in making decisions?

Remember every decision you have made can be viewed how you decide to view it. You make the case for a regret or you make the case for it having a positive outcome - it is all in how you view and interpret that moment in time. So go easy on yourself and see if you can view your regrets through a different lens now.

I’m on this complicated human journey with you,