Draw Your Circles

As clients came into my office last week, I could see the busyness of the holiday season starting. Teens were wrapping up first quarter grades, moms were making halloween costumes, plans with in-laws were starting to shake out for Thanksgiving, and family photos were causing chaos. I marvel at this every year and it’s been eight years of me hearing the stressors of this season from my clients. I am often left thinking, why do we create these stressors for ourselves? Why do we feel all of this needs to get our full attention and energy. Life is hard enough, then as a society we pile on so many tasks that really aren’t necessary.

One of my favorite tools for getting clear on priorities is one I call “draw your circles.” It is inspired by the Target logo. Imagine the center of a target and the rings around the center.

This tool can be used to gain clarity on where you need to focus right now, who gets your time, which friends are most important to maintain, which family members need you the most, or which homework assignments to do first. It is a flexible tool for any time you need clarity or to combat feelings of overwhelm.

In the middle of the target, list the task, person, subject, or project that is most important to you right now. With a student, I might ask them which class has the lowest grade right now, that class goes in the inner circle of focus. With someone overwhelmed by people to take care of, I might ask them which person absolutely needs you the most right now and that person’s name goes in the middle.

Then you work your way out from there - the center of the target and the inner rings get the most attention from you, each ring of the target beyond the second ring can wait until the inner circles are addressed (if you have any energy or capacity left!).

Drawing your circles can help provide clarity as you set priorities, make commitments, consider whose opinion counts, and decide how best to focus your energy on those most important to you. It helps you determine who needs you the most right now and who can wait, so that you don’t try to help everyone and burn yourself out in the process.

The circles will change as needs are met for some and new needs arise for others; just because someone is further out right now doesn’t mean they’re not important, and doesn’t mean you won’t have the time or energy to focus on them later. People move in and out of our circles as needs change.

Everyone and everything in your life is important to you, but this tool can help you remember where to focus your energy right at this moment.

TRY THIS

On a piece of paper, divide the paper into four quadrants. In each section, write a label: Projects, Friends, Family, Self (or any other labels that are appropriate for your life right now)

In each area, make a list of everything that comes to mind and draw a set of target circles with three to four rings. Consider the list and prioritize the items with the most important thing in the center.

I often do this quick and messy, just to help my brain have some quick help in focus. Next time you feel overwhelmed or don’t know where to start, draw your circles.

You get to decide who gets your precious time, energy, and love,